are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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