We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
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