So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
It all started with a game of naked twister.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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