Well apparently he's into motor boating.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Randomize
