I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize