I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
