Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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