it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize