He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
