I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
