Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
