He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I licked your asshole in confidence.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
