I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
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