don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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