nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
