you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize