he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Congratulations! We have a period
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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