I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Sorry about my life...
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
