my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
