you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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