I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I party with great urgency now.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
