you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Apparently you make a good broom.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
