...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
