This is not my ceiling
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
