if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
