well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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