and you said cock pushups were impossible
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize