I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
