shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Houston, we have a squirter
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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