if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
