there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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