I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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