when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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