Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
