I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
