Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
