Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Randomize
