I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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