that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
