i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
