I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Randomize
