youre lurking in front of me
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
The best revenge is premature balding
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize