Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
