just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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