get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
