I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
