No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
so let's talk penis.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
