I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
