"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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