wanna go halves on a baby?
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
my nose is crying tears of wow.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
