i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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