Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I need to calm my uterus...
Randomize
