I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
