Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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