I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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