Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
