I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Randomize
