I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
